Posts

The road to death

Is too soon to say goodbye...     Today was the 8th day of my quarantine after having close contact with the covid patient. These days hiding in the room or the house was too bored and meaningless. Every step of mine has to be extra careful and every day has to sanitize the room and the house. The covid patient is one of the closest friend of mine. We slept together for more than a month. When I were about to shift back to my home, she was diagnosed. So unfortunately her whole family was diagnosed positive. Her father was unconscious since the day entered hospital, and he was never awakes anymore. Her mother was sent to the hospital two days later due to difficulty breathing and is currently yet to be released.      A lot of times the two weeks time was just a short period of time when you are busying with daily routine. In comparison to these days being lock down at home, time flies really slow. However, the number of covid cases are tremendously increasing day...
Post a Comment
Read more

You actually did it well

Until you reflect on yourself from others, you are actually well-done gurl...     The interviewer often asked: "When was your proudest moment?" My proudest moment stagnent at 12yrs old. I got the best female athlete in primary school, but I lose my friend due to my arrogance. So should I even feel proud? My victory caused me lost my friends and being hated by others, what's so great about that? I failed my interview at the age of 22yrs old. I guess because I did nothing great for myself after 12 years old, hahahaha..... Then I asked mummy, what can I feel proud of myself. Mummy told me: " You should feel proud that you are able to be a teacher and deal with special needs children. This ain't something easy and not anyone can do it. You did it for sometime gurl." Herm.... and then I found that none of my family or friends are working in this field at that time. I should feel proud of myself right? I got my answer for that, but no one ask that question anymore...
Post a Comment
Read more

Our 7hrs

 Humans do surprise me, that's why I love psychology..        I am a soon-to-be clinical psychologist. This is my third year and finally, feel that I meet good people in this field. For all the time I felt extremely lonely in the course, simply because I am a part-time student? I tried to approach my coursemate during the second semester and I did gain some friendship. Why will I took initiative to approach my coursemates? Because is not others' responsibility to make friends with you. The current society informs people to always take initiative to fight for what you want and what you deserve. "Time and tide, wait for no man." Even if there are some people who don't want to be your friend, so what? Out of 100 people, if those 100 people refuse to be your friend, that must be you are too "special", in this case, you have to reflect yourself, and this had happened in my life too. Throwback to the times when I was in primary and secondary school, boycotting...
Post a Comment
Read more

Parenting

 Got a really sweet talk with her...     She is my client, mother of the weakest student among all of my students. The mother is trying her very best to help her client to feel the interest in learning. I should feel guilty at this place as I didn't put enough effort to help my student. I talked a lot with the mom. Our topic is no longer focusing on children only but rather talk about ourselves. She claimed herself has strong mathematical reasoning and was one of the top student in math class during her school years. On the other hand I showed better performance in languages (i.e. Bahasa, English, Chinese). Therefore I am assisting her child in learning Bahasa and Chinese.     People who has excellent in mathematical reasoning will often be excellent in Science at the same time. I shared my struggle to her in dealing with scientific term, till today i'm still stuggling to remember the damn lobe! She offered her help immediately and solve my problem within an hou...
Post a Comment
Read more

Broken glass day 7

 Why will you fell in love with a person?     "There is no reason to love a person, and I really don't know why...." you said. I never agree with this statement. I choose you for a reason, and I believe everyone does have a reason to choose a person whether to be a life partner, employee, and friend. It should be explainable why will you uncertain about this.      The reason you don't know simply because you don't love. Let's throw back some memories. I remember every time when I pack food for you, you did not care about my visit, yet what kind of food was packed was your concern. When I bought a present for you, who bought it is not the concern, but what kind, what brand, and price of the present was concerned. When I drive to your place to visit you, my visit is concern, how many times I visited in comparison with you was concerned. When I dress up elegantly, my beauty is not your concern, but who will I hang out with was concerned. Me, is never your conc...
Post a Comment
Read more

Borken glass day 6

 "Sometimes you need to forget how you feel and remember what you deserve. "    I've been emphasizing emotions are the most important signal in humans' body. Emotions lead to reactions, it should be the most important criteria to understand a person. Due to this mindset, I think so I've been living under my own emotions for some time until I reacted wrongly. Sometimes I questioned: " Why is this person don't understand people's feelings ah?" But actually how important is your feeling? You should not act because of your feeling, act because of own sensible instead. During the time with you, I was even manja...     During these years, I did not control my behavior as a person, or even a soon-to-be psychologist, because I believe I got you. Your pamper is my everything, letting me behave in the way I prefer. Erm.... that's not the true story actually. You dislike how I acted, how I behave, but I could not control myself anyway. All these whiles ...
Post a Comment
Location: Malaysia
Read more

Broken glass Day 5

 I wonder why am I usually awake at this timing...5am     One of them told me:" why should you check on him? You are living for him day by day.." I totally agree with this. Since the day I met you, I spend all of my time with you to the extend I sometimes sacrificed my job. How immature I was for all the time being with you? From what I can remember, I did not go through this situation during times with exes. I'm always being myself, focus on what am I supposed to do, I was way more charming and attractive back then. After being with you, my world is on you, even worried too much of makeup that you don't find me attractive anymore.      I simply clicked on a website mentioning "relationship" topics, this woman says:"Don't get attract by wound, get attract by worth." This is so straight pointing me at numerous failures in the relationship. For all the time I did not let myself settle down and bound to another man immediately where most of them l...
Post a Comment
Read more