You actually did it well

Until you reflect on yourself from others, you are actually well-done gurl...

    The interviewer often asked: "When was your proudest moment?" My proudest moment stagnent at 12yrs old. I got the best female athlete in primary school, but I lose my friend due to my arrogance. So should I even feel proud? My victory caused me lost my friends and being hated by others, what's so great about that? I failed my interview at the age of 22yrs old. I guess because I did nothing great for myself after 12 years old, hahahaha..... Then I asked mummy, what can I feel proud of myself. Mummy told me: " You should feel proud that you are able to be a teacher and deal with special needs children. This ain't something easy and not anyone can do it. You did it for sometime gurl." Herm.... and then I found that none of my family or friends are working in this field at that time. I should feel proud of myself right? I got my answer for that, but no one ask that question anymore since then.

    The other when having chatting session with coursemates, one of the cp said:" Carol, I'm actually quite admire at your capability in handling your work and your studies at the same time. Nonetheless you still have commitments to deal with. You are also dealing well with your emotional state." Wow, I didn't know I am that kind of person in others' mind. I don't usually allow sadness struggle my life for long, maybe because Im lucky enough to have good people being my support. I got high recovery rate and pushing myself to focus on what's benefit me the most. That's why I will not lose track in my planning. I am careful with my money and work because I got commitment, I did savings because I know that could fulfill my purposes. I never give up on looking for jobs because I know I have the capability to live better and contribute myself to the society. Although I'm the yougest child, I tends to deal with a lot of chores by myself. 

    I was born without love. I got very big gap with my siblings, can't communicate at all. My mother depressed due to unpleasant relationship with my father. Since parents are not showing love, how would there be siblings love? There could be, unfortunately not in me. I don't find the purpose of having siblings because they often make me into trouble and upset. Living in a family like this, how would I feel proud in anyways? Encouragement matters, but that doesn't exist in the family, how would I dare to say I'm great? My siblings was laughing la wei... hahaha

    Family issues are just part of the life, although it occupied the biggest part. That doesn't mean I shoud upset about myself. When you can't feel proud of what you are doing, try looking at someone who are in the same situation as you. Ya, that's the way, you should pat on yourself Carol and say:" Well done girl!"

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Parenting

 Got a really sweet talk with her...     She is my client, mother of the weakest student among all of my students. The mother is trying her very best to help her client to feel the interest in learning. I should feel guilty at this place as I didn't put enough effort to help my student. I talked a lot with the mom. Our topic is no longer focusing on children only but rather talk about ourselves. She claimed herself has strong mathematical reasoning and was one of the top student in math class during her school years. On the other hand I showed better performance in languages (i.e. Bahasa, English, Chinese). Therefore I am assisting her child in learning Bahasa and Chinese.     People who has excellent in mathematical reasoning will often be excellent in Science at the same time. I shared my struggle to her in dealing with scientific term, till today i'm still stuggling to remember the damn lobe! She offered her help immediately and solve my problem within an hou...
Read more

Our 7hrs

 Humans do surprise me, that's why I love psychology..        I am a soon-to-be clinical psychologist. This is my third year and finally, feel that I meet good people in this field. For all the time I felt extremely lonely in the course, simply because I am a part-time student? I tried to approach my coursemate during the second semester and I did gain some friendship. Why will I took initiative to approach my coursemates? Because is not others' responsibility to make friends with you. The current society informs people to always take initiative to fight for what you want and what you deserve. "Time and tide, wait for no man." Even if there are some people who don't want to be your friend, so what? Out of 100 people, if those 100 people refuse to be your friend, that must be you are too "special", in this case, you have to reflect yourself, and this had happened in my life too. Throwback to the times when I was in primary and secondary school, boycotting...
Read more

Borken glass day 6

 "Sometimes you need to forget how you feel and remember what you deserve. "    I've been emphasizing emotions are the most important signal in humans' body. Emotions lead to reactions, it should be the most important criteria to understand a person. Due to this mindset, I think so I've been living under my own emotions for some time until I reacted wrongly. Sometimes I questioned: " Why is this person don't understand people's feelings ah?" But actually how important is your feeling? You should not act because of your feeling, act because of own sensible instead. During the time with you, I was even manja...     During these years, I did not control my behavior as a person, or even a soon-to-be psychologist, because I believe I got you. Your pamper is my everything, letting me behave in the way I prefer. Erm.... that's not the true story actually. You dislike how I acted, how I behave, but I could not control myself anyway. All these whiles ...
Read more