Broken glass Day 3

Was so excited to be back again... but not for a happy reason.


    I guess the last time I blogged was during secondary school, and I stopped blogging... erm.... since 14 years old? After a while, my Blogspot was blocked without noticing me. I began to do my writing in my planner, almost every day there was a story and that reflects me so well as a person. Since the day started being with you, this habit was no longer occur. Whenever I have time, I thought of you instead of spending "me" time. The moment when I fell in love with you, you are my everything.

    

    You are so much different from my previous ex-es. You are so much more mature than any of them, you are gentle and considerate. But we fought a lot more because you are not as mature, as gentle, as considerate as what I thought. You didn't do anything romantic for me since the day we met, you don't show your love often, you don't post any of our pictures on social media, and you dislike socializing with my friends or family. You have so much reason to explain why are these happening to you, yet I could not accept any of the reasons. You had finally broken up with me, and you seem to be able to move on as usual. 


    I deny the fact that you no longer love me. I was afraid of the fact that you may have someone with you. I even so naive to type a passage of thingy to expect you realize something, but the comedy was, you don't bother to reply on that. You've seen but you do not respond until I questioned. Well, perhaps what I wrote was something you already knew, is just that I realized a bit later. Initially, I felt guilty towards you due to not able to identify your weaknesses and didn't manage to help you become a better person. Today was the third day of our broken relationship, I started to hate you more...


    I woke up at 5am, saw your replied:"i just woke up only ahhahaa." I was wondering, what a joke. "ahhahaa", what is so funny? I didn't see this from your message before, are you trying to inform me you are happier now? You are active on Facebook since hours ago but didn't bother to read my text at all. You are not even online on Instagram as you know I am more active there. I posted stories simply hoping to get your attention, but you do not bother to see, perhaps you afraid to see. Somehow I felt thankful when you are doing this so that I will not expect anything from you again. 


    Our past relationship was toxic, too many arguments and discomfort been living between us. Your decision to terminate such a relationship is in fact benefitting both parties. Regardless of whether or not it is hurtful, there is no way we could return unless any of us willing to change for one another. Although I'm really upset these days, I'm glad to find myself again. I promise I won't lose myself anymore. I felt sleepy again, should I go for a nap... or continue with my assignment?


-Missing you Day 3-

Love, Carol

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