Broken glass Day 4

 Woke up at 1am and didn't able to see your text...


    I've been waiting for your text for days and days, I knew its almost impossible for you to text me again, and I am trying my very best to ignore your presence. I deleted your number and archived your presence on any social media, but I still search for you intentionally. All this reminds me of the first relationship I had broken up with, that's when I was 15 years. It took about 8 years to forgive myself in that relationship until I meet you again. I repeat the same mistakes again after 8 years, and the current relationship ended up unpleasantly again. 

    

    Can you please don't leave? Anyone can let me know how should I cope with this? I knew the relationship is somehow toxic, even if get back together there may be nothing change, especially the feeling towards you. I may still love you deeply and you may still not able to feel it due to insecurity. Even if I let go of my ego and retrieve our relationship, the ending may be still the same. I'm having a terrible headache now... I should have typed on my assignment or sleeping in bed instead of expressing myself here. I'm pretty sure no one is reading, but I got nowhere to talk to, I got no one to talk with. No matter who else trying to comfort me is all about self-help and self-compassion. 

    

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